Smiling

Today, i'm driving into work and I see these baby goats...they are running around like little nuts and I laugh.  Goats are ugly...they are funny...and the baby goats, well they are sooo funny.  I then begin to think "what makes me smile".  I mean, as most of you know I have my positive days and I have my negative days.  And as badly as I want can not be glass half-full all the time and I HATE THAT!  I know people who could be in the most miserable of situations and still talk like life is the greatest.  Maybe they are on meds.....  :-)  That is the only thing I can come up with for why they are so DANG HAPPY! 

Things that make Tonya smile:

-Pizza...a good ol' hot pizza with just the right amount of cheese/sauce can do the trick everytime. 

-Giggling...Kimery giggling when I tickle her.  The belly is the worst but she still falls for the ol' SugarBowl.

-Silly Laugh...Caitlin has developed this silly goofy little laugh she does when she cracks herself up.  Last night it was over some show she watched where they put icy hot in a guys underwear and his "business" was burning.

-Sunshine...how can you NOT smile when the sun is out?  Just sitting in it, feeling it on your skin.  Watching it from a window, maybe not, but hearing the kids laugh in it, hearing the lawn mowers going, pools, drinks, cookouts.

-My Husband...you know this man...he lives to make me happy.  He is funny and sweet and loves to buy me prizes.

-Home Movies...I laugh, I cry, but either way i'm smiling when I see videos of my girls when they were small or of my mom with Caitlin when she was a baby.

-The Cats...when we got cat #2, we thought for sure that this would not work out, but these two are a mess.  They sound like a herd of elephants running up and down the stairs after each other.  They stalk, they jump, they play....funny stuff.

-Jaws, Amityville Horror AND Terms of Endearment on TV all in the same weekend.  Back to back would make me happier, but hey, I don't control that piece.

-When my girls say "thank you"...generally after we've done something for them or taken them somewhere.  To hear them say it means that maybe they appreciate it as much as young girls know how to appreciate things.

-Seeing Kimery Ride a Bike...after the whole broken leg experience it really rocked Scott and I.  But to see her just hop up there like nothing ever happened (well with her shin guards on and all), brings me joy.

-Pool Days at Dads....love for all of us to be outside together, swimming, hanging and talking. 

-Clean House....when I finish my Saturday house cleaning ritual (you have no idea HOW ritual it is), I feel my whole body take in a deep breath and let it out.....a weight is lifted and I feel like smiling.

-Good Grades...when the girls come home with an accomplishment from school or a good grade and they are so proud of themselves.  How can I not smile at my smart baby girls?

-The Girls...this is pretty much a given. Although they are responsible for a few frowns as well, nothing is better than my girls.

-My friends laughing....if I can tell friends a funny story and have them giggling, I smile.

These are the things that make me smile.  I'm sure there may be a few others, but I am kind of grouchy, so maybe not.  :-)



Missing :-(

So, i'm driving to work today and one of the few songs that can turn me into a total ballbag is on..."You're gonna miss this" by Trace Adkins.  Depending on what "time of the month" it is, really determines if I can make it through the whole song without ruining my mascara.  Luckily, today was a day I could get through it.  Because I don't think I have many friends who listen to country, the song basically has a father singing to his daughter about the "crazy" times in life (growing up, having kids, etc.) and how at some point she is going to "miss this".  I use the song sometimes when Scott is cranky with the girls...walk through the house singing the chorus to him over and over. 

"You're gonna miss this....
you're gonna want this back...
you're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast...
these are some good times,
so take a good look around...
you may not know it now....
but you're gonna miss this".  LOL! 

And she digresses....

I listen to the song and it's like a home movie in my head.  The girls small, me wishing that they would be ready for solid foods, could sit up, could walk, could pee in the potty, etc., etc.  Now I have two girls...12 and 7 who can basically run the house if need be.  And with their current ages I still have the desire to see them continue to grow and mature and MOVE OUT!  Because that is what i'm supposed to want, right?  Not really. 

As they have gotten older I catch myself never wanting them to leave.  I tell the girls they can "live with me and have babies and we can all live together".  Kimery looks at me like i'm insane because she is "going to have a husband, but we will live next door to you".  Inside, I want her to stay.  Caitlin's initial response which reminds me of a 12 year old Tonya "i'm not having kids".  Inside, I still want her to stay even without giving me grandbabies.  Glancing at my husband I can see in his face that he is planning the purchase of an RV and maps for us to get out and roam about the country together free and clear of our adult girls.  :-)  Inside, I want my girls to go with us in the RV. 

I am always imagining the future.  Grown girls, married, kids (if they want), all of us having holidays together.  But, then that dang song comes on and I want the world to stop.  I don't want to close my eyes one day and wake up and it's 3 years later, 5 years later, 9 years later and i'm wondering where my babies are. 

I have always been an independent person and I think I have shown my girls how to do the same.  I want them to grow and achieve and be wonderful women who have established themselves in life.  I am hoping that i've done enough that i've earned that "spot" with them where they are not tucking me away at some home somewhere, but today I know that "i'm gonna miss this". 



Towels

If your a parent of multiple children...especially girls, there is no end to what they will fight over.  My recent experience...bath towels.  In most cases this would lead you to somehow believe that maybe I only own a couple of towels, so the fight is who gets one and who is using a washrag to dry themselves.......and although that is a pretty funny assumption (as i'm imagining Kimery standing there with her chunky little body holding a washrag over her privates), it happens to not be the case.  The girls have PLENTY of towels.  A closet full of them.  Except that my small bodied children require larger towels so they can dry themselves and then throw and even larger soaking wet towel onto the floor.  In an effort to alleviate my anger at picking up the towels, I hung some towel hooks right beside the tub/shower, so that all they had to do was reach over and hang it after their bath/shower.  Caitlin has decided that in order to "know" which towel is hers she will hang it on the shower.....not approved by the towel police. 

With my childrens need for large bath towels, I purchased 8 of them.  4 blue, 4 purple because I have to match their bathroom...it's just the way things are.  Last night there were 2 blue towels hanging on the 2 towel hooks.  Simple math...2 children, 2 towels, 2 towel hooks.  Caitlin was in a rage because somehow Kimery mistakingly or just in not giving a crap which towel she used must of used Caitlins towel!!!!  HOW DARE SHE!!!!  Somehow when Kimery reached for a blue towel she was to know which one is Caitlins.....she is to have a special towel sense I guess.

I bet your on the edge of your seat reading this to find out my solutions...right?  :-)

So, you may have noticed that the girls have two colors of towels....purple and blue.

Last night in my rage at these two little nerds who are fighting over towels, I assign them a towel color (which I think is absolutely ridiculous).  They are to use ONLY their color.  There...problem solved.  Well, this particular towel issue....the fight over using a towel more than once is my next challenge.  Now I will spend my days praying that they remember which color is theirs because as of right now, I have no clue what I assigned...